September 2009
66 posts
Passive-aggressivity at work...
I just had a colleague come into my office and say something about how I’ve “been having some issues adjusting to this new position, and the rest of us are trying to help you instead of getting too frustrated with you.”
Umm. Okay—maybe this deserves some backstory, but I’ll try to keep it short. I recently took on, in addition to my own daily activities and...
Listen
Want/Need
I WANT: A Wii and Wii Personal Fitness package
I NEED: To stop being so lazy and go outside and walk already.
I WANT: A cigarette
I NEED: To quit smoking already.
I WANT: A Hawaiian Burger and fries from The Anchor
I NEED: To not think about that burger anymore
I WANT: A dog
I NEED: A house with a yard before I should have a dog.
I WANT: The Sims 3
I NEED: To worry about getting...
Fattyfattynofriends...
So, this comedy troupe I am a member of is doing this convoluted weight loss challenge to raise operating funds. I begrudgingly accepted the challenge, because I, too, have passed 30 years of age and leaped straight into the arms of the cheese monster. What I didn’t really think about was this: I’m gonna have to go and weigh in, in front of people, on a weekly basis.
People of...
Thought quilt...
1. I’m a few weeks off one of my necessary medication treatments due to a dirty insurance move being pulled on me. Therefore, my spine is beginning to cripple up more and more everyday. It really sucks, and I’m having a hard time not feeling sorry for myself about it.
2. The older I get, the more progressive I am becoming. Sooner or later, I will become a Socialist.
3. My chemo...
“Dude, my pussy really itches. Don’t use those Vagisil wipes.”
– Some gross broad, to her gross friend, in a public restroom somewhere in the downtown business district while I take a piss in the stall next to her.
I farted.
Oh my god, please help me...
Why am I shitting razor blades?!
Pathetic...
I think I only have about half a dozen tumblr followers.
I suck.
Just for today...
I really wish I had a dick, if only for the opportunity to tell people to suck it and really fucking mean it. And maybe because I’d like to hose some folks’ faces down with #1 and #3.
If I had a dick, I’d be R. Kelly.
I love every one of these dickholes... →
Best Zeppelin tune of all time.
Led Zeppelin -...
Paying collections...
This is the part where I grow up substantially. This is the part where I pay down everything I have in collections and hope to the dear lord it helps my situation out a bit.
This is the part where I say goodbye to the inner college kid who won’t clean her room. Bye, kiddo. Stop by if you ever wanna just get stoned sometime.
ALSO...
Fuck summer for waiting until I was ready for fall to show up and assault me with humid, hot air all day. Seriously, summer, FUCK YOU.
Lesson learned...
Today, my car was towed from the place I parked at work.
I walked out to get in it, and it wasn’t there. This has never once happened to me, so you’d think I’d naturally guess “OHMYGOD, MY CAR WAS STOLEN!” However, my car is a piece of absolute shit, and nobody in the world would steal the fucker, so I knew better. I knew it was towed immediately.
I ran in,...
An open letter to the world...
Dear people of Earth,
Please, I beg of you, please leave me alone for two days. That’s all I ask. I need a couple of days to make my head stop spinning, so seriously, just leave me alone.
Sincerely,
Me.
WOW...
thetalkinghead:
Today, I interviewed a woman who is terminally ill. “So,” I tried to delicately ask, “What is it like to wake up every morning and know that you are dying?” “Well,” she responded, “What is it like to wake up every morning and pretend that you are not?” MMT
