Things I feel like I need to write about but won’t: 1. The rash of celeb deaths and how annoying the coverage of them has become. 2. The rash of celeb deaths and how none of them are celebs I’d like to see die (why the hell hasn’t Daisy of Love or Li-Lo gone instead, dang it?!) 3. The fact that I drank 2000 beers on Saturday and almost caught a buzz. Almost. 4. The...
Women are total twatbag assholes... →
A hangover is when you open your eyes and wish you hadn’t.– Unknown, but truer words were never spoken.
The perfection of wisdom, and the end of true philosophy is to proportion our...– Mark Twain
I am absolutely ill. I made the poor judgment call to watch the video posted on the Guardian’s website of Iran’s Neda Soltani as she was shot and killed. I wasn’t really seeking out the footage of her death—rather, I was looking at various articles online regarding the events taking place in Iran, and I came across one that had an embedded video. One would guess that the...
To the asshole who snuck into my apartment in the middle of the night and filled my guts with gasoline and sawdust and then set it on fire: Fuck you. What a dick move.
I wonder if my boss knows how much time I spend dicking around on the internet or emailing my friends?
From the "Oh, You've Gotta be Fuckin' Kidding Me"... →
I am fairly certain that I’m gonna blow up soon, and my split corpse will blow forth confetti that consists of pastrami and peppers. I probably just need to go take a shit.
Wow, I have one follower. One. That’s outstanding in the way that sitting at home on prom night in your sweats with your dog and a 5-gallon pail of cheese balls is outstanding.
I just spent $48 on polymer clay, glitter, foam-core board, Mod Podge, and super glue. This Fantasy Art Throwdown is gonna be beyond amazing. Pictures when I’m damned good and ready.
So, this morning, I woke up with Michael Jackson’s “Man in the Mirror” playing in my head on repeat. As I walked to the bathroom to begin my daily regimen of showering, coffee-drinking, hair-styling, face-painting, and the like, the lyrics of that sage ol’ tune began to wear on me. I began to look at the Woman in the Mirror and demand that she, too, make some changes. Or at least start thinking...
The Maiden Post
So here we are. My first blog post as an anonymous blogger (sorta). I’m not ever going to reveal who I am on this piece of self-indulgent garbage, as doing so will likely ruin my purpose for even having this thing—I want to be able to be candidly horrible and horribly candid without ever getting caught by my boss or clients. So there. Keeping the above items in mind, I’ll...